01.01.70
Thursday October 26, 2006 at 04:00 pm
Water can carve its
way, even through stone.
And when trapped,
water makes a new path.
‘Memoirs of a Geisha’
I am water. I wear a silver necklace. The chain flows around my neck and drops to a pendant that is the sign of water. Last night. while trying to get over my ‘mad on’ regarding the flooding ONCE AGAIN of my workroom/laundry room, I realized….I am water. Why fight it?
The above quote reflects events my life. Married at 19 to a much older man (not only in years but in soul). I had to carve my way through 3 years of marriage. When trapped I made a new path, I got a divorce, made a way for myself and became self-sufficient. I met my current husband after 2 years of being single. We have 4 beautiful children and live in a great area and have been married for 25 years. We’ve had our ups and downs as every marriage has. Troubled times and times I thought I would again take the path of water and flow out of the marriage. But we worked through things, both of us on our own paths, flowing in our lives sometimes separately and sometimes in the same direction. My life now is good but….Somewhere along the way I’ve lost that secure feeling of being in control of my future, my independent spirit. I no longer work so I depend upon my husband for everything. Then came the realization that he will retire in 2.5 – 3 years and the changes that will result are unsettling. I feel like this reality has resulted in days that are like water running through my fingers. So much will change. No more health insurance, no more free days to do whatever I like. No more alone time.
So I guess it is time for me to start thinking toward the future. I cannot control the path my life will take, I can only hold on for the ride. As we know, water goes where it wants and the way is not always easy. It flows, meets adversity and goes around it. I should not be depressed or discouraged about the flow of my life in the next few years. I need to regain that sense of adventure and independence. I’m just not sure where to start…perhaps by getting all the water out of my laundry room?