10.22.07
Medical Monday
Today is Medical Monday for me. I have spent the past 12 hours ‘prepping’ for a procedure at noon today. What a pain this process is. The last time I did this I don’t remember it being this difficult. Of course, I also reacted so severely to the medication I lost 4 days memory; two days before, the day of and one day after. Weird!
The things I do to myself to keep the body going. It seems my life these days is a series of preventative measures. Meds to keep the lungs open, meds to keep the arthritis from freezing my neck and shoulders, meds to keep the acid reflux at bay. Meds, meds meds. A couple years ago I tried to wean myself from a few of them. I was concerned that by taking so many pills and inhaled medications (9 in all) I was basically perpetuating my symptoms. I hoped that my body would right itself if I just took decreasing doses of the meds. Wrong! All I did was endure weeks of increased symptoms and have to play catch up to get all systems working again. That freaked me out. Would I be dead now if these meds weren’t available? I thought of my Dad who died at 48 from a lung condition.
Getting older sucks. But getting older with medical issues is a pain. There are days I find myself worrying about the future. What will happen when the DH retires and our medical insurance is not as good as it is now? That day is not too far off…about 3 years. What would happen if I could not afford the hundreds of dollars in meds I take every month? But I’ve chosen, most days, to be the ostrich and stick my head in the sand. I live today for today and just keep plugging along and taking those pills.
Days like today when my body is very hungry and reacting to the cleansing dosages I’ve had to take this past 12 hours make me grumpy. Too bad for the husband who is off this week and has to take me to and from the hospital for the procedure. I am not a nice hungry person. Last time we found I come out of anesthesia in a snit. When the Dr. came in to ask how I was doing I said “I’m doing fine but this Jerk (the DH) is pissing me off!” I asked the husband what he was doing and he said nothing, just sitting there. Who knows what will come out of my mouth today. But my mood will greatly improve when I get to eat something around 2 this afternoon.
I know tomorrow will be better and my hope is that they will find nothing so I can go on the 10 year plan instead of the 5 year plan. Ten years, what will life be like in 10 years? DH will be retired, kids will be through high school and hopefully in college. The oldest will be 34 (akkk!). I will be 62. My Mother will be 95 and the step father probably will have passed as he would be 100. Will we still be living here? Probably not, hopefully we’ve sold our house and moved up to Brookings if the oceans have not risen due to melting polar ice. Will I still be knitting socks, I hope so. Ten years seems like a long time but 10 years ago I was 42 and 7 months pregnant with my youngest. Wow….time goes by fast.
So you see how I get when I cannot eat for 15 hours and have to cleanse my body, reflective and melancholy. It isn’t a pretty picture….tomorrow will be better.
Mike D said,
October 22, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I kept exactly the same health insurance plan when I retired. In fact, PERS contribution to the premiums was a tad better than CDCR. It went backward a bit this year, but I think that was for all. And being in Del Norte, you already have the worse coverage, (No HMO) So in spite of all your other worries, take that one off your list.
Linda Stimson said,
October 22, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Even with all the things you have going on you are an inspiration to me! You get so much done and always come off well organized calm and collected.
I am glad to have you as a friend.