04.09.08

I wear my badges proudly!

Posted in Redwood Living at 6:30 am by Lynette

Yes, I wear the following badges proudly.  After raising 4 children, all still mostly unscathed, two of which have reached adulthood in a semi sane condition….I think I (we) did good!

 Eating out

If you have picked up pasta from a filthy floor, created a game with empty creamers, straws and sugar packets, drawn a pretty picture with the 2 blue crayons that the “too young to have kids” waitress gave you, or got your kids to eat something other than ketchup, you may wear this badge for rising to the occasion.

Sleeping

Do you sleep with your kids part or all of the night? Wake up with a porcelain doll in your back or a roll over and activate a dinosaur roar? Are your bedtime rituals so complex, a sitter needs to attend a special training seminar to get the job? For keeping your kids feeling safe and secure, you get this badge (not as good as four straight hours of sleep, but it will have to do until then)!

Reading

The requirements for this badge are simply that you read to your children, which sounds easy enough, right? But I bet you never thought you would read the same book so many times that you memorized the text, the images and even the pattern of wear and tear. If you know the words to any kid’s book, iron this badge onto your library bag and know that you have done a good job!

Diaper

Everyone has an episode of diapering significance! Have you experienced poop paintings on the wall, poop dripping from the Bjorn in the grocery store, poop in the tub, poop up the back and into your baby’s hair? Have you ever performed gymnastics trying to keep other siblings from getting into poop? Has your baby ever peed into your mouth? Explosive poops, indecent exposure,or cloth diapering; this badge tells your story.

Breastfeeding

This badge is to commemorate the nursing relationship, whether for a week or for years. Have you tandem nursed, nursed while pregnant or nursed twins? Breastfeeding is hard work and not as natural as it seems. If you produce milk for another human, you get this badge (and so much more). If you NIP you get a special nod of admiration.

Shopping

This is for the first time you take your newborn to the grocery store and strangers come up and touch his face during flu season and you maintain control. Also, for when you stroll through Target nursing a fussy baby while pushing a cart full of those great end-cap deals while trying to mentally organize each upcoming birthday party you will attend or throw for the upcoming year. Have you ever taken a couple of toddlers to pick up plywood, balloons or a load of mulch? How about doing your monthly grocery shopping at super Wal-Mart with 3 in tow? If you have spent money with babies hanging off you, climbing in and out of the cart or running away from you because they had to have “real high heels NOW,” then you may don this badge with pride.

Go here to see them all

 http://www.mamameritbadges.com/shop/

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